Zombie-Proof Houses Exist

No, really. They do.

In an unexpected turn of events, I actually feel much safer in my vulnerable not-zombie-proof house knowing that just around the corner could lie an impenetrable bastion against the undead hordes; that somewhere in this world, humanity could be preserved, even if civilisation falls.

On the other hand, I am, of course, now paranoid by the obvious deficiencies in my own home. My house isn't from Cybertron at all, and is therefore not wont to fold in on itself to protect against invasion. My windows are but glass, and I'm afraid that I don't have concrete blocks that are going to flip out in front of them to box them in. Is this a serious flaw in home design?

Is this a serious flaw in home design that has penetrated the deepest circles of architecture for centuries?

My answer is probably not, but maybe! We all know that Freemasonry has been up to something shady for about the same amount of time; maybe the mason symbolism was more than just symbolism, and they've been actively working to make us more vulnerable to zombie attack?

I mean, let's face it. The average home isn't particularly well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse. Out in the 'burbs, no one can hear you scream, except for your hundred or so nearest neighbours who have already been zombified.

Most houses -- okay, I don't actually know the statistics, but what seems like a LOT of houses have windows on the ground level through which a zombie could easily stumble, as opposed to a drawbridge on the second level being the only possible entry point. That's commitment on the part of the zombie-proof house designers, and also on the part of the people who live there and who have to go up and down all the bleeding time.

So, in conclusion, we're all pretty poorly equipped for a zombie outbreak, except for the specific few people who live in this verifiable fortress or a home styled off its design, and I guess I don't know much about Freemasonry beyond the insane whisperings of half-baked conspiracy theories.

Other things I've learnt today:

• Montpellier is in the south-east of France
• The fossa, a cat/mongoose creature, is endemic to the island of Madagascar
• It's entirely possibly to be literally standing a hundred metres from a phone tower in a CBD, with full signal and full credit, and still not be able to connect a call. Nice one, Telstra!